Everything about him screamed your future.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
