You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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