Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
