I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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