The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
