I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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