Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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