God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
