I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
