Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Randomize
