So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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