My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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