I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
what day is it and did you see me today?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
