it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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