i just wanna soil my oats bro
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
