a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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