Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
