Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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