I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
