Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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