After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
