my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I skipped work to stalk him.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Randomize
