I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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