forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
now i know why i became what i already was.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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