Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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