I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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