She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
