if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Acid is not a monday night drug
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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