i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
