I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
