im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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