I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
