Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
