she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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