Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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