She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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