At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize