I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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