my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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