thus making me awesome and them whores
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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