I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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