Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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