Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
