I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize