Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize