someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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