a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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