We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
