All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
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