I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think my vagina is haunted
love makes seman taste better
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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