We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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