dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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