yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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