for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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