I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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