Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
