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everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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