and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
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she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
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Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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