When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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