when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Quick, to the slutcave!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
