I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
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