Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I am naked and annoyed.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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